Best laid plans.

Getting from Point A to Point B has never been so difficult. Three flights to get from The Second City back to The Country is a bit excessive by any standards, but then to delay flights, miss flights, get bumped over to stand-by status and end up spending more time in the airport than on an airplane is just plain ridiculous. Capital R. And in true City Girl form, it was a highly dramatic happening.

I have now spent 1.5 days in three different airports, run through the current airport four times (a literal run with sweat. gross.) and spent the night in a strangers bed. I think it would best be summed up with this timeline:

8:00am Knock back tea so hot it takes off the first few layers of skin in my mouth. Leave friends apt and go downtown with her to her office. Meet her boss. Mention that Long Beach State sucks. Find out it's his alma mater. (Awesome.) Come to the conclusion I will never work for this company. Don't find him funny anyway.
10:00am Hop on blue line to airport.
12:20pm Discover I have left important items at friends house. Leave The Second City and fly to Middle of Nowhere, Oklahoma. 
2:30pm Arrive in Middle of Nowhere and find out my flight is delayed another 2 hours on top of the 2 hour layover I already anticipated. No biggie. Still going home today. (Or so I think.) Also discover they are cow tipping champs. They have the shirts to prove it. Make friends with a commissioner for the AFL and his gay assistant. Find it ironic that a gay man works for the AFL.
6:40pm Land in The Centennial State, home of the Rockies, race to the gate, almost cough up a lung, and learn that I just missed my flight home. Ok. Not ideal. Not going to worry though. I have a friend who happens to be gracing the area today and call her up for a good time.
8:00pm Go out to dinner with friend and live it up! See a good chunk of the downtown area and decide that if I were to live here I would perpetually feel guilty about not being a hardcore outdoorswoman. But love the fact that everyone rides bikes and owns a dog. Decide I might come back someday for a visit.
10:00pm Run through the airport at break neck speed and see that the flight was delayed another 20 minutes. Realize I will indeed make this flight. Correction: Realize I will indeed make it to the gate in time to get on the plane.
10:13pm Arrive at gate hot, sweaty, tired while waving my ticket wildly in my hand and announce, "I made it!" Look over to see that the door is still open and I have a chance.
10:14pm Flight attendant tells me she gave my seat to a standy-by flyer. I tell flight attendant that I'm here. In case, she was talking to herself, is blind, has multiple personalities and has confused me as one of them or refuses to see me standing there in the flesh all hot, sweaty and tired.
10:15pm Flight attendant doesn't care about my appearance or physical state. Hands me a ticket for tomorrow and a discount for a hotel and sends me on my way.
10:16pm I start to lose it. Mutter an obscenity under my breath and walk away. Send out angry tweet in hopes of the CEO of United discovering a disgruntled customer.
10:40pm Get picked up by friend. Rent a movie. Notice that house is slightly cleaner than gutters in India before eyelids begin their final descent. Don't care. Fall asleep in friends bed for the night while watching said movie. (Actually, it is someone else's bed. Friend happens to be sleeping in it.)

Next Day
6:55am Roll out of bed and head for the airport. Again.
8:30am Call airline and tell them of my woes and the tragedy that had befallen me the day before.
8:40am Receive free flight voucher from airline. Twitter about how all is right with the world again.
9:40am Get told I will not make the flight home. Get sent to the other side of the airport.
10:00am Near tears, I call the airline again and negotiate my way from stand-by to a confirmed seat on the next flight home.
10:30ish am Blog about injustice.

My hair is greasy, my clothes look like they past travel-worn about ten miles ago, I'm hungry (but refuse to leave this gate for fear of losing my seat again) and need a nap in the worst way. And as luck would have it, an alarm just went off at the gate next to mine.
Terrorist alert?
Fire?
Tsunami in The Rockies?
Bring it on.