Ross and Rachel

Will they? Won't they? Will they? Won't they?

And they danced and danced AND DANCED around their feelings for each other for years...

I have unknowingly become a part of a Ross and Rachel relationship and it sneaked up on me like a ninja. Two years of wishing everything could go back to the way it was, a few well-timed conversations, one too many moments alone, a couple nights that ended in kisses and BAM!

Just call me Rachel.

Since discovering that both parties have had lingering feelings for each other, I have found myself sleepless and frustrated wondering if the mystery of What's Really Going On will ever be solved between this City Girl and Bachelor Number Two.

This is pretty much the gist of it.

Some days there just isn't enough wine in the bottle.

Serenity Now

I recently made a new acquaintance the other day and casually mentioned that I had just booked a ticket to Hawaii and how I am planning to skydive while I am there. Within a matter of minutes this new friend began to describe his skydiving experience to me in full detail. (How my conversations with new people quickly turn to odd subjects involving intense feelings, I'll never know.) He said they make you get on your knees in the doorway of the plane, rock back and forth 3 times before jumping and then chaos ensues for the next 120 seconds while you somersault in the air, simultaneously plummeting back to earth at an alarming rate. He said it was the only time he enjoyed being completely out of control, but at the same time was freaking out on the inside because he was completely out of control. And then (and this is my favorite part) he said the rip cord got pulled and he immediately went from a state of total insanity to complete serenity.

 

I couldn't help but think of my past year in relation to this story and felt I had already been skydiving through my own life. 

The last 365 days of this Girl's life have not only been chaotic they've inhibited the very definition of a tailspin. Everything was out of my control, I was freaking out on the inside, and some days felt as if there were no up or down; a complete lack of stability. As my sister-in-law likes to say, I was ass over tea kettle for days on end. And at the end of it all I looked back and saw that everything that happened, all the seemingly schizophrenic situations, were going according to a bigger plan. Now I didn't exactly know what the bigger plan was, nor do I know now, but I am starting to see the edges of this puzzle fall into place. The rip cord has been pulled. And while I haven't landed on the ground just yet, there is peace and calm.

There is, at last, some serenity.