Thirty Days of Thanksgiving

During my drive home tonight on the long stretch of highway to my place at The Beach I began thinking about all the things I wanted to list out for each Day Of Thanksgiving. Starting last year, I try to write down at least one "something" per day that I am thankful for during the turkey month. The end of the year can become so tiresome, especially as I always feel like it's another deadline to be met and I can't help but take stock of what did or did not get accomplished in the last 11 months. But tonight all I could think of was how I could probably come up with hundreds of "somethings" to be thankful for; enough to last me a whole year!

Today my day consisted of choosing whether or not to work (for the most part, I chose not to), followed by leisurely taking phone calls and emails while catching up on my favorite TV shows; then later a facial and an early dinner with friends. And while not every day looks that way, I do work in trade with friend of mine who gives the most delicious massages, which I try to schedule in every week. Every sunset and sunrise I go to sleep and wake to the sound of the ocean crashing its way on shore. A noise that most people pay hoards of money to hear for only a few days during their vacation. And if I feel like taking a lunch break, I sometimes walk across the street, organic food in hand, to enjoy a half hour of seaside rest while soaking in the sunshine and warmth that hangs over this fair city almost every day.

This is my life.

And I know there is much more to come, but for right now what more could this City Girl want?

I Don't Want No Scrub

Remember Stage 5 Clinger? Well,this City Girl does. All too well. And as of this week, am reminded of that guy while constructing a well thought out text message to somehow detach myself from my recent self-imposed "birthday present."

I'm not great at being the breaker upper....especially when it needs to happen after only two dates. TWO DATES!!! Honestly, I don't know where these guys come from! Who needs to send a break-up text after two dates?!

Just for the sake of having a somewhat interesting blog post, let's outline the second (and what I'm sure will be the last) date in list form, noting that this second date was preceded by multiple unanswered phone calls and several half-answered text messages. The letters "L" and "O" have never been so exhausted.

 How was your day, beautiful girl?.....It's raining out. I'm going to take a cab downtown! lol.....I think my cat just winked at me. lol.......I really miss you.....I hope you're sleeping well! lol

1. He invited me to a soccer game and later called asking if I could pick him up on the way. Let's just say the song No Scrubs by TLC came to mind.
2. I arrived at the game a few minutes after he did and learned that soccer games are the international melting pot of our fair city. (Spoiler Alert: This was the only enjoyable part.) If I hadn't been so busy trying to avoid his effort to smother snuggle me I would've leaned back, closed my eyes and pretended I was in the hub of Heathrow Airport. However, having someone constantly try to inch closer to you and hold your....everything, keeps one from being able to close their eyes except for the occasional blink to lubricate the eye sockets.
3. Mr. No Boundaries, now practically sitting in my lap, finally asked if he could hold my hand. In an attempt to give him the friend vibe I hid my hand in the end of my sleeve and handed him my jersey knit stump, claiming that there was a chill in the muggy summer air.
4. Attempt thwarted. He caressed my stump while staring at the side of my face.
5. The game finally ended and he asked if I would drive him home. Oh and did I mention that I had to tell him about FIVE HUNDRED TIMES that I had to wake up early the next day, so going out for a drink was out of the question? Yeah. It's super fun to talk like a broken record.
6. He attempted to kiss me at the car, but being swifter than he, I managed to dive headfirst into the driver's seat before Birthday Eve was repeated.
7. I pulled the car up to his house, put it in park and he sang to me. And not like "Oh cute. He's singing with the radio." We're talking about the kind of singing that was memorized and rehearsed for a one-time performance. For yours truly.
   Will the awkward moments never end?!
8. I followed up his solo with a nice generic comment like "Well, thanks again!" and flashed my now desert-like dry eyes toward the door, hoping he would take the hint. After what felt like an eternity of silence, he finally vacated the car and probably felt the whoosh of wind as I sped away like Mario Andretti.
9. I pulled up to my own house a few minutes later only to discover that he had left his sweater in my car.

So, dear readers, I leave the ending up to you: Burn it or do a Ding Dong Ditch and hope he doesn't answer the door in time?

Lifestyles of the Not So Rich & Not Quite Famous

This. Week. Is. Killing. Me.*

Lately, a list, which is becoming quite lengthy, has been compiled of all the things in this particular city that are irritatingly true and unavoidable. And this week is the perfect time to unleash the top three irritants on the 'ol blog. Why, you ask? Well, anytime one of these pet peeves rears its ugly little head this City Girl inevitably ends up growling inwardly or sometimes shouts to no one in particular, while wearing a hands-free headset so as not to look crazy, about the inanity of "it all" while driving around with the windows rolled up.

On second thought, that probably still looks a little unhinged. *ahem*

Irritant No. 1: If all drivers arrive at the intersection at the same time, let she who drives the nicer vehicle proceed through the intersection first.
There are Classists afoot in this very city! Be warned, all you locals who think that the rules of the road apply to those from the affluent parts of town. They do not. You may have been sitting at that stop sign for the last 3 minutes, being ever so cautious and ready to pull into the intersection, but if the opposing driver on the road is behind the wheel a vehicle that costs twice as much as yours then be prepared to reschedule the rest of your day while you sit at said intersection and wait for some poor sucker in an 1992 Nissan to pull up to the stop sign opposite you so you can get on with your day. That's right! You can bet your sweet Benz that that turkey will not only trump your right of way, he will more than likely ignore all stop signs and other government enforced postings. He is, after all, driving a Bentley.  

Step aside, lowly Volvo drivers!

Irritant No. 2: Beautiful people are not an anomaly here. They're what we call "locals".
Let's just say, hypothetically, you're having an "off" week. You just had a good cry in your car while sitting in the parking lot of Starbucks, nursing your hormones back to a relatively stable level with some sort of chocolate coffee drink. As you pull yourself together you glance in your mirror and notice that although you feel as though you could go through the rest of your day without another break down you have, unfortunately, cried off all your makeup and that blemish that was once perfectly disguised around the lower area of your chin has now made its way up to the middle of your forehead and is beaming red like a beacon in the night.

In any other town, this City Girl would say, "Go on, girl! Finish that day!" But not in this town. I will never say that in this town. Because the minute you drive away and pull up to your next stop you will notice that every single person in this Stepford-like city is stunningly beautiful in a way that makes one question, "Just what is in the water here?!" And we're not talking about inner beauty. We're talking about the kind of beauty that makes you painfully aware of any minute line that may appear anywhere on your body, practically demands that you pay more in gym membership fees than rent, and gives you the overwhelming feeling that lighting your wardrobe on fire and starting anew really is a good idea. Should your level of sanity be on the fritz in The Land of Perfection and Youth do yourself a giant favor and drive straight home. Do not pass Go. Do not pay $100. (I'd say "collect", but anyone in this town knows you're more likely to pay than collect.) Just throw on those designer sweat pants, open up that $50 bottle of Bordeaux you've been saving and switch on your 90" flat screen TV while you sink back into your custom leather sofa in hopes that you can get yourself rested and camera-ready for the next day!

Those amenities are not standard in this Girl's household, but darn it they should be!

Irritant No. 3: When driving in the rain it's best to be cautious. Better slow down to 35mph on the freeway. You know, just to be safe!
There's a running joke in this town that any time a visitor asks what the weather forecast will be any given day in our fair city a local will always chuckle and say, "It should be a sunny 70 degrees!" To say that rainy days are a rarity here is an understatement. So when the slightest hint of moisture can be felt in the air every local driver on the freeway will inevitably slow to an agonizing 35mph.

 I only wish I was kidding about this.

One can't be sure if it's the fear of getting even the tiniest of scratches on their brand new Porsches that has the townfolk so nervous or the fact that most families can be birthed, raised and sent off to college before another rainy season starts that has everyone completely baffled at this onset of water falling from the sky. Either way, be aware of the fact that any kind of seasonal change in the lower parts of this state will result in a traffic setback of at least 30 minutes or more.

God be with you if this seasonal change instantly occurs while you're on the freeway. I'm not even sure they sell insurance for days like that.

* WARNING: This post will only truly be enjoyed by any female who has ever experienced an epic week of Paralyzing My Sanity Syndrome. So, to all you male readers, of which I'm guessing there may only be one or two, consider this a cautionary tale. Never EVER approach a woman who's makeup is slightly askew or buttons are buttoned incorrectly or looks to be on the verge of tears, but is really "yawning", for any reason. Whatever it is you have to say can wait. Just walk away. Do it for your health's sake.