Little Projects...Part Two.

It's either that good old-fashioned country air or the fact that I have absolutely nothing better to do. Either way, I decided to sew a purse. A purse, I might add, that I've been planning to make for the past couple of years, but whatever.

Ahhh, city life strikes again.

And on that note, I may be moving back to The Beach. Soon. Stay tuned...

Poke me. Text me. Email me. Call me.

I have a good friend of mine that has this theory about men and texting/facebook poking/phone calls/emailing. Now, let it be known that the phone calls are few and far between these days, because things like texting and facebook make it waaaay too easy to be passive aggressive in the dating world. However, in the case of this particular theory let's include any form of communication that does not involve face time.

Her theory: Texting and facebook poking are just another way for a man to touch you. It's his way of laying claim to you.

When I heard her say this I just figured she was on one of her rants about men, but then I realized that she may be on to something. She made a very valid point, in fact, that aligns perfectly with a theory I have.

My theory: When guys are interested they constantly let you know in some form. In other words, if I were a tree and he were a dog, he would pee on me at least once a day.

There's never been a time when I couldn't tell if someone was interested in me or not. When guys like you they track you down and "lay claim" to you all the freaking time. When guys aren't interested, you will never hear from them. Ever.

Simple facts. Simple truth. 

Lessons in Learning How to Rest, Part Four.

Lesson 4: Worrying is not resting.

I just wrote an article as a guest blogger for another writer out in The Second City today and used some of the lyrics from a song by Rocko: You just do you, Umma do me. Love that song. Speaks volumes about having confidence in who you are. And it falls right in line with a conversation I had with a friend the other night about breaking out of that 9-5 box.

The conversation went on and on about our both feeling like we've broken out of the corporate societal box and ended with, "Who cares what they think? And who is 'they' anyway?!"

Good question, no?

As much as I don't want to admit that I allow other people's expectations to influence what I do, it does. Being newly self-employed I have been feeling a little stressed lately about the hours I keep and how and when I get work done. My schedule looks nothing like other people's schedules. I sleep in. A lot. I also stay up all hours of the night taking care of business. Late at night is my muse. Late at night is when the light bulb in my head starts to turn on and the magic begins. Late at night is what has been bringing me new clients at a steady and increasing pace.

I've always wanted to be the sort of person that gets up early in the morning and gets all kinds of things done before noon. I have never once been that person and I can see now that I probably never will be.

I really admire morning people. I hate them when they try to talk to me before 9am, but still....I admire them.

Anyway, during this year long sabbatical I seem to have been on since last spring, I've learned a few things about resting. And I feel like I might be learning the final lesson: worrying about what others think/where I am headed/how I live my life/when I'll finally get to move again is not resting. It's draining like a slow tire leak until there's nothing left and you pass out at the dinner table.

I would say that I can't believe that it's taken me a year to learn how to truly slow down and rest, but I can believe it.

I want! I want! I NEED!

Ever find yourself going through what you know will be a short-term phase of "I, I, I! Me, me, me!"?

I fear I am right in the throws of that very stage right now. I am absolutely exasperated with my own self every time I hear myself start a sentence with a groan. And even though I find myself a bit "stuck" these days with nothing moving fast enough or my not getting results like yesterday, that behavior is obnoxious. It's annoying. It's whiny!

My number one pet peeve? Whining. Will not, cannot, must not stand for it. Ever.

It'll be a fight to the death, no doubt. But I will win!

Stage Five Clinger

First, let me just say that I hate with a passion how this blog has somewhat become my dumping grounds for all things love related. That being said, I have nowhere else to dump all these stories and I can't write as fast as I type. So, here it is.

Last year I mentioned that I had a certain someone that just wouldn't take the hint and leave me alone. Our relationship ended somewhat suddenly when he decided that he would go where the wind blew him. It blew him into someone else within a week of my leaving his city.

Charming. 

One would think that if you were with someone who lights up your life there would be no need for anyone else. Apparently, this rule does not apply to free spirited people. I think this is crap. And since I hear from him once a month (like clockwork!) I wonder if his significant other is aware of this. This irritates me. It plays with my heart (even though I never respond) and it makes me sad for her.

I told this guy in no uncertain terms that we were through. We were over. No friendship. No facebook. No IM. Nothing. And yet I still hear from this player every 30 days. I've resorted to ignoring him, because it seems to be my last card to play. However, it seems to go unnoticed by him....

What to do? What to do?

Wait. Why do I have to be the boss?!

So many great opportunities have come up lately that are keeping me awake at night. I'm absolutely exhausted trying to figure out what's right for me. I can't believe that I'm sleep deprived because of all the positive things in my life...

I've always been a firm believer that opportunity exists where ever you are and that's it entirely up to you to make it happen. That being said, it also doesn't hurt to have a few signs pointing you in the correct direction. And right about now, I have so many freaking signs pointing me in far too many directions that I've become frozen, like a deer in the headlights.

I recently gained a new client up north as well as a few career possibilities down south. And now I'm just plain tired. I'm tired of making all the hard decisions all alone and having to be the one that has the final say about what's right for me. If I'm being honest, I don't know that I'm always the best judge of what's right for me. Most of the time I'm pretty close to being on target, but the rest of time things don't always end up all happy clappy.

So, dear readers, what have you done in the past that has helped you make those hard decisions for yourself?

The linger.

It was like something out of a movie. Or so said my friend, with a twinkle in his eye, when I told him my latest tale of love and other things...

I visited the possibility last week. The one who sent cupcakes in honor of this year's Black Monday. The one I turned down not that long ago, because he wasn't right for me.

Or was it that I wasn't ready for him?

It was supposed to be a friendly visit. And it was. It was a friendly visit that ended with me lingering. You know...THE linger. The linger that says way more than it should. The linger that invites trouble and possibility.

The linger turned into a quick kiss. The quick kiss was followed by me walking out the door and driving away. And the drive lasted all of two minutes before I turned the car around, marched myself back to his front door and did something I never thought I would do. I was brave. I was gutsy. I was also in the perfect position to be shut down, turned away, told no.

Even thinking about it now...Eek!

I stood in front of his door for a few minutes before I got the nerve up to knock. And then I waited. Nothing. I realized right then that I had the chance to back out. Instead, I pep talked myself into ringing his doorbell. I waited again. And then I saw him. He saw me. There was no backing out at that moment. I knew that if I made up a flimsy excuse that I would hate myself forever. Or at least for the next few weeks. So, I took some old fashioned advice and just told the truth.

I missed him.

The next weekend was full of the usual dating things, and in this case. getting to know each other all over again. It was good. It was sweet. It was so...easy. And for this City Girl, easy isn't something I'm adept at. It's nothing I'm familiar with. Easy has never been in my dating vocabulary.

Sadly, my usual relationships appear to be this difficult.

And speaking of easy, it looks like my plans of moving to Portland have been slightly derailed by a new career possibility back at The Beach. Nothing is official, by any means. Nothing has been decided upon. Nothing has been written in stone or on any legal papers. But let's just say that the signs I thought would be pointing me north by now may not be showing up...