No. Wait!

(the other half of my tbc)

I went out to dinner with a sweet friend tonight and mentioned how I always wished I could be one of "those people" that just picks up and leaves all the time; someone who just goes where the wind takes them. And now I've become one of those people. Some days I'm not sure I'm going to like it as much as I had envisioned. (Keep in mind, I am writing this after having spent three nights on a pull-out couch.)

Grass is greener? Guilty.

I've always wanted to be completely free of any ties so that I could travel. To anywhere. At anytime. Although, I already feel like I'm missing out on all the details of all my friends' lives. I was out of town for three whole days and I'm already a little sad. But I'm starting to love that my plans keep changing and the fact that I never know what's going to happen next. I love how the travel plans already went from being in the Midwest to going to Mexico. No wait. The Bahamas. No wait. The Pacific Northwest. No wait. All three.

No wait....

The keys, please.

I've had two people say two very significant one-liners to me in my lifetime thus far. And I'm sure I've heard other important words of wisdom, but these two come to mind often. And right now they seem to be ringing in my ears.

#1"Never give up until you've exhausted every possible resource. And even then, don't give up until you get what you want." My brother told me this when I was a kid and it has stayed with me like an outdated, barbed-wire tattoo. No matter how old I get or where I go, those words will stay with me forever.

#2 "You can tell how many responsibilities a person has by the number of keys on their keyring." My friend Daniel, who has a very *ahem* unique view on life, told me that one. Think about it. It's got some weight to it.

Today I handed over my key to the office. And then I ended up getting it back five minutes later, because I was the last one to leave. So, I'll be mailing it back to them when I get up to LP. But in my heart I handed over my office key!

As I slipped the key off my keyring I noticed that my number of keys had dwindled down to three. And then it hit me: "There goes one more responsibility." I definitely noticed the difference in weight on the keyring when I moved out of the apartment. That was three keys in one day! But this one....it just felt weird. I felt like a part of my contribution to society had vanished. And let me just back up and say, that I have next to no emotional ties to this office or the job, but that key...it was MY key. Someone trusted me. Someone in that office, at some point, was going to need me. Or at the very least, my key.

MY key. I'm starting to sound like one of those creepy twins from The Shining.

Earlier today, I got asked at lunch what my plans were. To which I responded, "For the rest of my life or just this weekend?" I barely had an answer for the weekend let alone the rest of my life. Which is funny, because a year ago I would have had an answer to that! For the first time in my entire life I have no plan. But I do know what I want.

(to be continued...)