Sunday, January 30, 2011

Color me fickle.

Okay. OKAY! I know. I said that was the last post and I meant it. But every time I visit these words, ready to send it to blog heaven, I can't. I miss this little blog. I love my biz blog, but I yearn for this blog. My little corner of the web where I can rant and rave without worry. Where I can type out anything my little heart desires and not fear that I just upset a lurking client.

That's me. Little Miss Fickle.



So, dear readers, I have decided NOT to shut this little bloggy down. I need it too much. 


Having said that, here's my latest blahblahblah: I am about to move to Portland*. A city that I like, but can't help but instantly see pictures of unwashed hippies every time I say its name. A place I said I would never live. Ironically, I'm about to write out the exact same post I wrote about a year ago.

I'm moving.
Again.

This time I'm moving with purpose. Sort of. At least, I know what I want to do when I get there. I have visions of what my life could look like up there and it's not bad. In fact, between the haziness it looks pretty fabulous. I know without a doubt that I am the kind of girl who is about a million times happier when she's within arm's length of a burgeoning city. That said, I have really come to love life here in The Country. It's been a sweet place to come heal, rest and otherwise find myself all over again. A part of me is a little sad to leave. And truth be told, a large part of me has been scared to death lately.

I've always been envious of those people who just pick up and move on without a second thought. Those people who look at life like one big adventure all the time and never seem to have moments of self-doubt or worry.

Who are these people? Are they on drugs?? Can I get some of these drugs?!

Portland will not be the first city I've ever lived in. And It probably won't be my last. I have no idea what has me so fearful. I had to fight my way through this last year and fight I did. It almost took every last bit of me to make it through, but darn it if I didn't make it out of 2010 still in tact! Knowing that I took on the most crazy and convoluted mess that 365 days can throw your way and lived to tell about it, I can probably handle anything 2011 will throw my way.

So. I am making this move. I will probably be scared. And hopefully, in the meantime, get my excited mojo back. In any case, I will survive this too. And I will live to tell about it!


*I really do like Portland. In fact, I love that city. And I am very much looking forward to living there, despite what I wrote. The hippie comment is just a weird stereotype that I've believed for far too long. And anyway, it's not like hippies are zombies...

2 comments:

  1. it is moving alone that is so scary! santa barbara is about as benign and beautiful as it gets, and it still got me depressed when i moved there, and swore i would never move to a new place by myself again. you--are--awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nail on the head, lady! Moving alone is the absolute last thing I want to do, but I'm determined to make something of this year. So, moving it is!

    ReplyDelete