Dinner For Two

A man is making me dinner tomorrow night. Making. Dinner. For me. And I should mention, this is the same guy that texted/called me every day he was gone last week. Every. Single. Day. Without missing a beat. I'm frickin' swooning over here!

Did I win the lottery? Am I dreaming? Did I accidentally tip someone $100 and rack up all kinds of lucky karma points?! 

He calls. He pays. He makes dinner. Needless to say, he makes my day.

Ride of a Lifetime

Today's wisdom: Life is the wildest ride you will ever take and anyone who tells you any different is a liar. 

I got kissed this morning. It was sweet and felt long overdue when in reality I've only gotten to know this person over the past week. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would find someone so great, so kind and so wonderful this quickly after calling it quits with a different someone who had, in a way, become my best friend.

I don't know what will become of this. All I can say is that a whole helluva lot can happen in a week's time and I will never again assume how my life will go.

The Truth About Love

I was talking with a new friend yesterday about her current lover and their relationship and I found myself spilling all my secret shortcomings and all that I've learned through love. At one point she looked up at me during our conversation and said, "You're so wise. You know so much about relationships." To which I looked at her with shock and said, "Ha! Listen, anything I know now has been discovered through years of heartache, tears and bad decisions."

I  was thinking about our chat today and decided that I should make a list of all the truths I've learned in the past year from all my sticky and sometimes uncomfortable relationships, just in case I forget. The first truth on my list may seem conceited or odd, but it's a proven fact, kids!

1. Pretty girls don't have to pay. For anything. And they aren't lonely for very long.
2. There really are plenty of fish in the sea and they come along about as often as the wind changes.
3. Every relationship is hard, complicated and messy. All the other possible lovers out there that appear to be more perfect than the functional relationship you're already in are a fantasy. Relationship is just another way to say self-sacrificing hard work.
4. Love is a choice. The beginning of any relationship is fabulous, it's what comes after the beginning that proves whether or not you're made for each. You either choose to work through the reality of everyday or you cut and run.
5. Love is a choice everyday. Once you decide to stick it out with someone you have to consciously make that same decision every morning you wake up.
6. It is imperative that you be able to separate irritation from things that are hurtful. Nit picking someone does not foster a loving relationship. And excusing or purposely overlooking meanness will not bring out the best in either person. 
7. The statement "Long distance relationships are hard" is an understatement. At some point you have to be willing to severely sacrifice parts of your life to have time together. And even then it's sometimes tough to call that time together "quality".
8. You can't try to fit someone else's mold. It's impossible to recreate who you are or who you're meant to be. At some point the real you will come shining through, like it or not.
9. If you want to discover the worst, most pathetic parts of yourself that you never knew existed then get yourself tangled up in a serious relationships as soon as possible. 
10. Life is not like the movies. It's not supposed to be. The movies were made for our entertainment. They should not, by any means, be used as a guide to living life or finding love that lasts. As soon as you feel you are being spoon-fed that kind of crap, spit it out as fast as you can!

Making a List and Chucking It Twice.

I make lists all day long. On my phone, on sticky notes, on my computer, in my iCal app, in my head...it's exhausting. And at the end of the day, I like to double check all my lists to make sure nothing got overlooked or added twice. Essentially, I pride myself on my list making abilities and my knack for keeping all things accounted for.

The other day I was chatting up my mom about the art of moving on and my attempt at leaving certain feelings behind. In the past when I had let love go, each day would get easier and easier. I would think about that person a little bit less as the weeks flew by. This time, however, I seem to have been compiling a list, unbeknownst to myself, of all the things I loved about this last possibility and each day seemed to be plaguing me with memories. Instead of each day of distance bringing freedom to my heart, I had found something new that made my heart sad and wishing I could turn back time. I was in the throws of serious girl talk, with tears of frustration streaming down my face, when my mom pointed out that since having had this time apart I now knew why I loved, why my heart had been so tied to someone.

I'm sure life for this City Girl will get sunnier again in the future. I will wake up one morning and live out an entire day without thinking about him. It has to be possible that at some point I'll be able to go a whole week without a giant knot building in my throat and tears waiting to spill out of my eyes. Maybe someday my heart will throw out that list...