Doing Life Together

Last week I went on what turned out to be a crazy, intense road trip to my boyfriend's sister's wedding. The trip started on Tuesday night and didn't end until Sunday night, where we both felt that we were clawing our way to the finish line.

Now, this road trip was intense for a number of reasons: family getting married, surprise visits from old friends, meeting every single one of his relatives, celebrating the last birthday of his twenties, very little sleep, concentrated time together in the same house for days on end, me trying to make a good impression on his family for days on end, and the fact that it was DAYS ON END with zero down time....

Heh.

The overused phrase of the weekend in all the speeches, chit chat and toasts was "doing life together." As in, "We are so happy to get to do life with them." Or, "We just love doing life together." This phrase, which later became a little joke between this City Girl and The Light In Her Eyes, really does sum up rather well what we're all doing as a whole. Every single one of my friends and family members and I are doing life together.

Doing life together. I couldn't stop hearing those three words echo in my head all last week and even now. 

Since returning from the land of all things love and marriage related, the boyfriend and I had a long processing conversation about IT ALL. There was a lot to think about, a lot to be said. Still, all I can hear in my head is one question: who have I been doing life with? Who should I be doing life with? Have I chosen quality people that I want by my side to go through this journey with me?

I haven't made any rash decisions. I haven't cut people out or added any new people in. It's just a question that has been circling my brain ever since that crazy, intense road trip...

Bringing out the best

I wanted to post this on Valentine's Day, but I got swept away on an adventure that day and since then time has simply gotten away from me. Cé la vie! And on that note, let's talk about love.

I had a conversation with my dad over Christmas that brought me to tears in a matter of seconds. We had said maybe three sentences to each other and with that my eyes were overflowing and my heart crumbled to pieces. Now, I've had a great many memorable conversations with my dad, but this one will probably be burned into my memory forever as it has changed the way I look at love. Possibly for the rest of my life.

In case you hadn't noticed, my recent view of love has been somewhat skewed. Okay...heavily skewed. I never did like the label "pessimist". I always preferred "realist". And when it came to love, I had taken a rather frank view on the situation. I left most of my feelings locked up and was decidedly resigned to the fact that most relationships I had endured had only brought out the worst in me. Therefore, all my future relationships would probably look the same way, bringing all my insecurities to the surface for all to see. Feeling extremely justified in this thought process due to all my past "research", I made my opinion known to my dad mid-conversation with a flippant wave of my hand, as if I were the pro in this arena. In fact, I think the words I chose went something like this:

"Well, if I've said it before I'll say it again, if you want to see the worst parts of yourself come out get in a relationship ASAP."
 
(Charming, no?)

And I would have held to this theory had my dad not followed up my comment with a few thoughts of his own:

"Relationships should bring out the best in you, too."

That's all it took. My mouth hung open. My heart slowed to a turtle's pace. And my eyes filled with tears. I was speechless. My emotions came rushing to the surface so fast I had no choice but to change the subject immediately, fake a yawn and pour myself another cup of coffee so I could turn around in the kitchen and quickly wipe away the tears that had started to roll down my cheeks.

Now my dad's accumulated wisdom in numbers can be boiled down to this:
A husband of over 30 years
A trooper of life for 1,642 months
A dad to me for the past 10,950 days

So, how could anyone with that kind of successful life experience under his belt possibly be wrong? How could I argue with someone who still looks at my mom, his life partner, best friend and soul mate, like she is still the light in his eyes? The answer was simple. I couldn't.

The shock of being so totally wrong eventually wore off. And with that, I allowed my theory to be obsolete, disproved and all together incorrect. I started to live with the idea that love could, in fact, bring out the best in people. Maybe even me.

Fast forward a few months and you'll find this City Girl not only living out her dad's theory to its fullest, but happily proved wrong every time she finds herself changing for the better all thanks to The Light In Her Eyes.