I Don't Want No Scrub

Remember Stage 5 Clinger? Well,this City Girl does. All too well. And as of this week, am reminded of that guy while constructing a well thought out text message to somehow detach myself from my recent self-imposed "birthday present."

I'm not great at being the breaker upper....especially when it needs to happen after only two dates. TWO DATES!!! Honestly, I don't know where these guys come from! Who needs to send a break-up text after two dates?!

Just for the sake of having a somewhat interesting blog post, let's outline the second (and what I'm sure will be the last) date in list form, noting that this second date was preceded by multiple unanswered phone calls and several half-answered text messages. The letters "L" and "O" have never been so exhausted.

 How was your day, beautiful girl?.....It's raining out. I'm going to take a cab downtown! lol.....I think my cat just winked at me. lol.......I really miss you.....I hope you're sleeping well! lol

1. He invited me to a soccer game and later called asking if I could pick him up on the way. Let's just say the song No Scrubs by TLC came to mind.
2. I arrived at the game a few minutes after he did and learned that soccer games are the international melting pot of our fair city. (Spoiler Alert: This was the only enjoyable part.) If I hadn't been so busy trying to avoid his effort to smother snuggle me I would've leaned back, closed my eyes and pretended I was in the hub of Heathrow Airport. However, having someone constantly try to inch closer to you and hold your....everything, keeps one from being able to close their eyes except for the occasional blink to lubricate the eye sockets.
3. Mr. No Boundaries, now practically sitting in my lap, finally asked if he could hold my hand. In an attempt to give him the friend vibe I hid my hand in the end of my sleeve and handed him my jersey knit stump, claiming that there was a chill in the muggy summer air.
4. Attempt thwarted. He caressed my stump while staring at the side of my face.
5. The game finally ended and he asked if I would drive him home. Oh and did I mention that I had to tell him about FIVE HUNDRED TIMES that I had to wake up early the next day, so going out for a drink was out of the question? Yeah. It's super fun to talk like a broken record.
6. He attempted to kiss me at the car, but being swifter than he, I managed to dive headfirst into the driver's seat before Birthday Eve was repeated.
7. I pulled the car up to his house, put it in park and he sang to me. And not like "Oh cute. He's singing with the radio." We're talking about the kind of singing that was memorized and rehearsed for a one-time performance. For yours truly.
   Will the awkward moments never end?!
8. I followed up his solo with a nice generic comment like "Well, thanks again!" and flashed my now desert-like dry eyes toward the door, hoping he would take the hint. After what felt like an eternity of silence, he finally vacated the car and probably felt the whoosh of wind as I sped away like Mario Andretti.
9. I pulled up to my own house a few minutes later only to discover that he had left his sweater in my car.

So, dear readers, I leave the ending up to you: Burn it or do a Ding Dong Ditch and hope he doesn't answer the door in time?

Lessons in Learning How to Rest, Part Eleven.

Lesson Eleven: Going All In

This City Girl's inner monologue often sounds like Zach Braff's character from Scrubs and usually leads into a far-fetched daydream that ends with a choir singing out the days thoughts. (Oh, how I wish I was kidding.) However, earlier this week there was a plain and simple conversation in this Girl's head that looked a lot like this:

Lesson Nine*...know your season. Hmph. I'm clearly still in the same process I was when I posted that lesson back in January. JANUARY!!!...I guess I can see it's definitely been a process. I feel like a totally different person from the girl who wrote that post months ago and I know I'm definitely NOT still at the starting line, but seriously....when is this time going to be over?? This feels like waterboarding. (insert whiny noises and groaning) There's gotta be a way to make this go faster...Can I truly say that I've been in this, like, really in this? Hmm....why do I get the feeling there's more I could be doing here? (insert additional groans)

So, Lesson Eleven readers, I say this with as much bravery as I can muster: This City Girl has decided to push all her chips to the middle. Into the innermost depths of a difficult time. Into the very hardest of all situations, bearing down and leaning in. All in hopes that it will make this time, this season of learning, somehow go faster. This City Girl will let the lungs of her heart take in as much of the ethereal water as they can hold in hopes that she will come out on the other side of this season a better Girl. A stronger Girl. A Girl with answers. A Girl with greater hope.

Today I am going all in.

* The answer is yes. My thought process does include url links. (wink)

The Trifecta

I had this exact thing happen one other time. It was years and years ago. I showed up to a class in college, spotted someone I hadn't seen in months - almost a year - and the trifecta was complete. I was having a week that I aptly titled and referred to for weeks afterward as Return of the Ex-Boyfriends. It was more than a happening. It was an event. It was noteworthy. It was weird.

This weekend was no different.

The thing about using the word trifecta* is it's only an accurate description if things shows up in the proper order: first, second, third. Well, for this City Girl the last few days have been the trifecta of perfection. Not only did the ex-boyfriends return, but they showed their faces in the exact order in which they were dated. First. Second. And the heart-wrenching third.

The Possibility sent a text message after several months of silence. And let me just say, I have never been a fan of reaching out to anyone via text message for anything of importance and I still stand by that principle. Text messages are for last minute directions and afterthoughts for someone who just ran to the grocery store for you. Not to mention, if we're not friends online anymore we're not friends.

Yeah...sorry...that text "didn't come through."

Bachelor Number Two showed his face tonight which didn't exactly sway me since we seem to run into each other more often than not. At which point I leaned over to my friend and told her that I seemed to be having a Return of the Ex-Boyfriends weekend. Then, lo and behold, The Light In My Eyes entered the room and stole Bachelor Number Two's seat. Which turned out to be funny to watch as they both know that the only thing they have in common is this City Girl and probably aren't each other's biggest fan. And then one of them noticed me across the room. I smiled. He looked around awkwardly and quickly found a new seat. I giggled to myself. And....scene.

Was it a haunting? Fate? Coincidence?

Who knows. Maybe tomorrow I'll run into my first kiss...

*Disclaimer: All boyfriends previous to the last three were waaaay back in my early twenties, were stupid and young and therefore are no longer important enough to include in the list. So, I will now only refer to these previous three. Possibly for the rest of my life.