Stage Five Clinger

First, let me just say that I hate with a passion how this blog has somewhat become my dumping grounds for all things love related. That being said, I have nowhere else to dump all these stories and I can't write as fast as I type. So, here it is.

Last year I mentioned that I had a certain someone that just wouldn't take the hint and leave me alone. Our relationship ended somewhat suddenly when he decided that he would go where the wind blew him. It blew him into someone else within a week of my leaving his city.

Charming. 

One would think that if you were with someone who lights up your life there would be no need for anyone else. Apparently, this rule does not apply to free spirited people. I think this is crap. And since I hear from him once a month (like clockwork!) I wonder if his significant other is aware of this. This irritates me. It plays with my heart (even though I never respond) and it makes me sad for her.

I told this guy in no uncertain terms that we were through. We were over. No friendship. No facebook. No IM. Nothing. And yet I still hear from this player every 30 days. I've resorted to ignoring him, because it seems to be my last card to play. However, it seems to go unnoticed by him....

What to do? What to do?

Hair Evolution

This year has been a big one for changes. Seems to be the common thread throughout all my days of 2010. I witnessed life being brought into this world, a handful of deaths of people who were family to me during my growing up years (as if those were actually over...), gallivanted around this country like I was on tour, made new friends, broke up relationships, dated various boys in various cities, learned things about myself (some things I liked, some I did not) and changed my hairstyle more times than Hillary Clinton.

The starting point.

I realized something the other day as I posted an album on facebook about my hair evolution: My hair has been my one thing I could control this year. The only thing, really. In a time when nothing is as it seems and everything around me changes in the blink of an eye, I've had nothing to hold onto. Every last thing I thought was predictable or under my control performed a circus act before my very eyes and contorted into something unrecognizable, unfamiliar.

New hair cut, take one.

So, what's a girl to do when her life has been glued to the ceiling and nothing is grounded? Well, this girl cut her hair. That's it. That was my big "I'll show you!" move. I cut my hair. And then dyed it. And then chemically straightened it. And then cut it again. There was some rhyme and reason to the first cutting. (I donated about 8 inches of my hair to Locks of Love in honor of one of the lives lost this year.) But after that, there was no semblance of common sense or thought put into the other actions. I only knew that I was determined–determined to do whatever the hell I wanted with what little bit of belongings I had with me at all times.

New hair cut, take two.

My hair currently looks like the edgier version of Julia Styles' haircut in the first Bourne movie. I'm happy with it. For now, anyway. And I like how with each new haircut I've either learned something or taken back a piece of myself that I didn't know was missing. This year has been a strange one, to say the least, and it's not over yet! There's still a solid 6 inches of my hair left. So, stay tuned.

Zen in Oh Ten

A few years ago I had some roommates that claimed things would be great in '08. And they were right! After having a crappy go-around with 2007, the roommates decided to take the outcome for '08 by the horns and staked their claim that things would turn around. And wouldn't you know it, these feisty girls were right! Life took a turn for the better in 2008. And so we continued with this habit of rhyming an upbeat word with the following year. And as predicted, things were indeed fine in '09.

Since then we all went our separate ways. One by one we all moved out of the Big Yellow House we shared together for years. Some went on to other cities in this fine state while others went to cities in other countries. (And we all know what happened to me!) Talking to my old roomies in the past few months, we have the same thing to say: We're all trying to find the zen in '10.

Or Oh '10, as I like to call it. Ha!

As the world seems to be diminishing around everyone these days, people are striving to make something out of nothing. Life has given us lemons and everyone is doing their darnedest to make some stinkin' lemonade! In fact, I had a little chat with my mom about this very thing this morning. And the question she spit out in an exasperated tone was, "Man, everything is falling apart. When are things going to be fun again?!" To which I thought to myself, "Well, sometimes things are just going to suck. For awhile. But it's all going to be OK." I don't know how I came to this conclusion. I certainly have no hard evidence for this, but I have been making a point lately to take stock of the good things that have happened this year and am looking forward with hope that life will be good again for everyone.

So, my question for you, faithful readers (and lurkers), is how are you finding a little zen in Oh Ten?