Doing Life Together

Last week I went on what turned out to be a crazy, intense road trip to my boyfriend's sister's wedding. The trip started on Tuesday night and didn't end until Sunday night, where we both felt that we were clawing our way to the finish line.

Now, this road trip was intense for a number of reasons: family getting married, surprise visits from old friends, meeting every single one of his relatives, celebrating the last birthday of his twenties, very little sleep, concentrated time together in the same house for days on end, me trying to make a good impression on his family for days on end, and the fact that it was DAYS ON END with zero down time....

Heh.

The overused phrase of the weekend in all the speeches, chit chat and toasts was "doing life together." As in, "We are so happy to get to do life with them." Or, "We just love doing life together." This phrase, which later became a little joke between this City Girl and The Light In Her Eyes, really does sum up rather well what we're all doing as a whole. Every single one of my friends and family members and I are doing life together.

Doing life together. I couldn't stop hearing those three words echo in my head all last week and even now. 

Since returning from the land of all things love and marriage related, the boyfriend and I had a long processing conversation about IT ALL. There was a lot to think about, a lot to be said. Still, all I can hear in my head is one question: who have I been doing life with? Who should I be doing life with? Have I chosen quality people that I want by my side to go through this journey with me?

I haven't made any rash decisions. I haven't cut people out or added any new people in. It's just a question that has been circling my brain ever since that crazy, intense road trip...

A We that says I do.

My time in Beantown couldn't have been more fun and hectic! Being a bridesmaid (for the seventh time) I've become a pro at forging through an emotional, tense, hyperactive weekend. And this time was no different. This wedding was for one of my best friends that I've known since kindergarten. We go way back with a long and sordid history full of funny stories, embarrassing photos, and a plethora of memories that I can't even begin to remember.

Looking back, I can't really remember everything over the past three days, but I know that it was fun and went by fast! Although, I will say that one thing stuck out in my mind about this particular wedding: my lack of emotion. I'll be the first to admit that I am an animated girl. And that's probably putting it mildly. It's in my genes to be prone to histrionics. And for some reason, I just seemed to move through this wedding weekend unphased and sort of numb. I can't really say why. Even now, I'm still stunned. I teared up a couple times during the ceremony, but wasn't overwhelmed with emotion on the day of the nuptials.

When the bride's sister got married everyone was a hot mess. And I do mean everyone. The preacher, the bridal party (which included a puffy-faced, crying me), my parents and everyone else in the audience. But this wedding was fairly dry-eyed. Sure, people dabbed at their eyes now and then, but no major balling going on at this affair.

Which is just as well, now that the viral phenomenon of facebook has since swept the nation!

So, this morning it occurred to me why I was practically stoic yesterday. Partly, it was because a 10:30am wedding on the east coast is brutal and you're barely awake to make it through the ceremony as it is. And partly because I wasn't scared. I didn't have any feelings of panic like I have in times past; picturing myself taking the dreaded walk down the aisle. In fact, the walk wasn't even dreaded this time around. It was fine. I was fine. No sweaty palms. No racing heartbeat accompanied by shallow breathing. No hysterical feelings at all.

I don't know that I will want a big, ritzy wedding someday or an elopement somewhere in Europe. But I do know that I have finally comes to terms with being with someone for the rest of my life. The thought of checking in with someone everyday is no longer daunting. The idea of traveling with a partner by my side isn't depressing. I'm okay with being a part of a We. A We that says I do.

The plan is there is no plan.

I'm about to head out on yet another adventure in a couple weeks. This time to Texas, Massachusetts, New York and Oregon. And I'll be insanely busy while I'm out there with work to do, dates to go on, weddings to be in, and new people to meet. I'm excited to go, no argument there. I'm also curious about what will happen and with whom. I'm anticipating a few things and I'm nervous about the things I can't possibly know. And I find myself day dreaming an awful lot these days.


The question on my mind, while I housesit for a friend, has been, "Where will I find myself living next?" I noticed that it's become more of a fleeting question than a stress inducing thought. I've been poking around craigslist every now and then, looking at different rent prices in different cities. I gave the house buying scenario a shot, in hopes that buying a house would somehow sit right with me. And nothing has struck me as "the thing to do" just yet. I said it before and I'll say it again, I have never in my life been without a plandeadlinegoal.

I sort of gave myself a timeline though of when I'd like to have something figured out and/or started (October-ish), but I'm not making myself any promises. In fact, I'm not making any promises to anyone or anything these days. It's kind of nice. Having the chance to dream big and not feel like any of my choices are boxed in...it's most incredible feeling.

Hott Mess. Two T's.

About 8 years ago one of my very best friends got married. It was a fairly surreal experience since all of us were only about 20 years old and while we all knew she would be one of the first ones to bite the dust get married, nobody really knew what marriage was about. Or what a serious relationship was for that matter. Suffice it to say, there were tears at this wedding, the likes of which I have never seen at another wedding since.

And now her sister (my faux sister) is getting married in about a month. But this time is different. This time we've all had a serious relationship or two, some of us got married, and for the most part we know what marriage entails. I thought I would handle this one better. I thought I would be a rock. I would be able to get through the wedding and toasts and sweet words just fine. I was wrong.

I had to make a toast tonight at the bridal shower and before I even had a minute to think about what I might say the tears beat my words to the punch. I was doing awesome all the way up to that point. And then, instantaneously, I wasn't awesome. Which makes me slightly scared for this wedding. I'm not the MOH, but I will be one of the girls up front crying her eyes out. Completely uncool. Not composed. Looking like someone ran over my dog.

Anyone know of a good water-proof mascara?