Thirty Days of Thanksgiving

During my drive home tonight on the long stretch of highway to my place at The Beach I began thinking about all the things I wanted to list out for each Day Of Thanksgiving. Starting last year, I try to write down at least one "something" per day that I am thankful for during the turkey month. The end of the year can become so tiresome, especially as I always feel like it's another deadline to be met and I can't help but take stock of what did or did not get accomplished in the last 11 months. But tonight all I could think of was how I could probably come up with hundreds of "somethings" to be thankful for; enough to last me a whole year!

Today my day consisted of choosing whether or not to work (for the most part, I chose not to), followed by leisurely taking phone calls and emails while catching up on my favorite TV shows; then later a facial and an early dinner with friends. And while not every day looks that way, I do work in trade with friend of mine who gives the most delicious massages, which I try to schedule in every week. Every sunset and sunrise I go to sleep and wake to the sound of the ocean crashing its way on shore. A noise that most people pay hoards of money to hear for only a few days during their vacation. And if I feel like taking a lunch break, I sometimes walk across the street, organic food in hand, to enjoy a half hour of seaside rest while soaking in the sunshine and warmth that hangs over this fair city almost every day.

This is my life.

And I know there is much more to come, but for right now what more could this City Girl want?

2011...What A Ride!

Every first day of January I sit down and write out what I want to see happen in my life for the new year. Some of my ideas are small while others are lofty dreams. Then at the start of the following year I like to look back at the previous list and journal entries to see what I managed to accomplish and how my life changed. And this year I am proud to say that almost every single thing on the list was crossed off!

In years past, I would maybe try to push myself harder or feel a little sad that only half the list got tackled. But this year, before I even peered into the past, I reminded myself that all that I saw and all that I did in the last 12 months could not have happened any other way. The past isn't changeable. It's the story that explains who I am today. So, while it would have been awesome to live in Italy for a month like I had wanted, the reward of sticking around my new home has been equally as great if not better. The dream I had for 2011 came true and even exceeded my wildest expectations in some cases.

What an amazing and life transforming year 2011 has been! I learned. I grew. I overcame. And I wouldn't trade any of it for the world...

Making a List and Chucking It Twice.

I make lists all day long. On my phone, on sticky notes, on my computer, in my iCal app, in my head...it's exhausting. And at the end of the day, I like to double check all my lists to make sure nothing got overlooked or added twice. Essentially, I pride myself on my list making abilities and my knack for keeping all things accounted for.

The other day I was chatting up my mom about the art of moving on and my attempt at leaving certain feelings behind. In the past when I had let love go, each day would get easier and easier. I would think about that person a little bit less as the weeks flew by. This time, however, I seem to have been compiling a list, unbeknownst to myself, of all the things I loved about this last possibility and each day seemed to be plaguing me with memories. Instead of each day of distance bringing freedom to my heart, I had found something new that made my heart sad and wishing I could turn back time. I was in the throws of serious girl talk, with tears of frustration streaming down my face, when my mom pointed out that since having had this time apart I now knew why I loved, why my heart had been so tied to someone.

I'm sure life for this City Girl will get sunnier again in the future. I will wake up one morning and live out an entire day without thinking about him. It has to be possible that at some point I'll be able to go a whole week without a giant knot building in my throat and tears waiting to spill out of my eyes. Maybe someday my heart will throw out that list...

The Do's and Dont's

I recently made a list of dont's for myself. Not my usual list. Usually my lists consist of things I want to get done or aspire to accomplish. Some are long and may take a lifetime to achieve. Others are short and I race around all dayweekmonth trying to cross every last word off my little, yellow sticky notes.

All of this was brought on when I noticed that I have an insane amount of freedom these days. Teetering on ultimate freedom. I don't have a home. I have a job that affords me to travel anywhere at anytime. I'm single for the first time in years. I'm free. To do whatever. And it's kind of been stressing me out. I know. I know. It sounds great. On paper. But the reality is, not very many people want to be this free for long. I know I don't. But in the meantime, I refuse to be miserable during a time that could be amazing.

Without further ado, the list of dont's:

1. Don't get knocked up yet.
   (Can also be read: don't do anything that will get you knocked up.) Being single, this is highly unlikely to happen. But I thought it would be a good one to write down so that my new found freedom wouldn't go to my head! I'm free. Not invincible.
2. Don't spend money and time on things that don't matter.
   Having fewer expenses opens up a girls options, but I'm trying to be careful to not get sucked into anything that doesn't really need my involvement.
3. Don't be afraid of what could be.
   With any place. Or any person. Or any opportunity.
4. Don't be afraid to jump.
   I'm notorious for deliberating a decision to death.
5. Don't spend free time worrying.
   Such a waste.
6. Don't forget to say no. A lot.
   I'm a sucker for puppy dog eyes and stories of the heart.
7. Don't forget to spend time with the kiddos in the family.
   They grow up so fast. (Partial pun intended.)
8. Don't neglect the parents. They will be old someday.
9. Don't opt out of fun. It doesn't come around every day.
10. Don't forget: you're young.
    Sometimes (read: all the time) I put enormous amounts of pressure on myself to be great while doing great things with great people in great places. It's a little much. Plus, I just had a conversation with a good friend the other night about turning 40 and being alone with cats. I hate cats.

A list of dont's can be such a downer. It runs the risk of putting one in a box. And nobody likes to be told what to do-even if it's coming from their own Jiminy Cricket. But I think, for this city girl, my list of dont's is just right.

Sick, sad addictions

(This one is just for you, Nelly!)

I'm going to take a break from the list making as my various lists seem to be spiraling out of control lately. Sometimes they go from being all important lists to being silly and about things that will never happen and don't matter anyway....like dusting. 

Instead, I will tell you about my current addiction. Well, two addictions really: the new iphone that has smuggled a spot in my heart and chicken curry. I now have a sick, sad addiction to chicken curry. Chicken curry salad from Panino's. Yellow chicken curry from Your Choice Thai. Cold chicken curry from Cantwell's. If loving chicken curry is wrong then, baby, I don't wanna be right!

As for the iphone, it's an addiction that may never stop. Eventually I will tire of chicken or curry, but the iphone will forever have a place in my heart. (Especially since it makes my blackberry seem completely useless. Like a sixth finger.) It's THE toy for grown-ups. Or anyone for that matter! I just love saying, "There's an app for that!" As I said to a friend tonight, it just rolls off the tongue. Can't help but say those five little words whenever possible. And as my other friend said to me tonight (when I started to ignore her), "My entrails are on the floor here and you're on your iphone!"

I used to ignore people or duck out of a conversation for an important text or phone call and now... Well, now, I'm a hopeless case. I can't stop looking at my phone. It's so shiny, pretty. Call me crazy, but I swear it whispers to me.

This can't be good.