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It's been 2 weeks and 4 days since my temporary move to The Country. Which means that there are only 15 more days to go. (Yes. There is a countdown.) Since moving myself into exile, as a friend called it the other day, I have made lists, I've involved myself in just about every activity, project and/or house guest I could get my hands on. I've stayed busy. I've made dinners. I've hiked....once, but I hiked! I've thrown myself into the very depths of my business and worked from sun up to sun down. I've made sure that not a moment of my day wasn't filled with some sort of....something.

And last night the exhaustion of it all, the forcing of my heart to be on auto-pilot, the ignored feelings came crashing down on this sad City Girl like a building demolition.

Life is still moving forward. My heart still pumps blood all day long, I still breath in and out. I have more friends rushing to my aid than a Facebook junkie. My business is actually functioning better than ever. But...

The unfortunate truth is this sad City Girl can't stay on auto-pilot forever. So, today I'm just sitting here. Waiting. Wishing I knew when the sad will be over.

Lessons in Learning How to Rest, Part Ten.

Lesson Ten: Seize the Day OR 30 Days = 30 Chances
I recently said yes to a job that I normally would have said no to. Maybe it was because this City Girl has been missing life on The Ranch. Or maybe it was because recent changes have proved to weigh a little heavier on this heart than was anticipated. In any event, for the next 30 days I will be living just far enough away from The Beach that my city life will be taking a backseat to dusty roads, pie making and hauling hay.

Day One I started to think that maybe I had made a huge mistake. Life at The Beach wasn't exactly booming, but it wasn't all that bad was it? And while I did want a break from the monotony of overcast days and the white noise of rolling waves, did I really want to live 30 miles out of town with three horses and two dogs that feel like the equivalent of five foster children? I started to wonder what I had done. Just what had I signed on for?

Day Two looked a little better since a dinner with other humans was scheduled and I managed to finagle a wifi setup, but the nagging feeling of being in way over my head was still plaguing me. Today is Day Three and the feeling was still here. I had been trying to get a routine down and plugging away at some greatly neglected work to fill the time. But busyness does not cure heartache or change or even the occasional loneliness. So I stopped being busy and just sat and listened and thought to myself.

For the next 30 days I will have 30 chances to do...anything! I have 30 chances to get better at yoga, hike and see the sights, make new friends, dream up new business ideas, learn something new, grow spiritually, or just be present. I have 30 days that could change my life or I have 30 days that I can let make my life a misery.

So, once again, this City Girl is taking a leap. This time into undiscovered waters of unknown depth.

Little Projects...Part Two.

It's either that good old-fashioned country air or the fact that I have absolutely nothing better to do. Either way, I decided to sew a purse. A purse, I might add, that I've been planning to make for the past couple of years, but whatever.

Ahhh, city life strikes again.

And on that note, I may be moving back to The Beach. Soon. Stay tuned...

Little Projects...

I hate to spoil a surprise, but I've been working on some gifts lately and I just want to show them off! So, if you're preggo or just had a little bundle of joy you can expect to see one of these arriving in your mailbox!

Oh. And did I mention how this was entirely The Country's doing? I don't know if it's all the fresh air or what, but instead of my usual gift card I had an overwhelming urge to sew. Go figure!

Just the facts, ma'am.

Alternative title: Know when to say uncle taxi.

Fact: I am smitten. I really do love The Second City. It has me baffled, turned around, full of genuinely nice people, clean streets, cool architecture and has me wanting more. I've had a chest cold that sounds like walking pneumonia the entire time I've been here and every day I would step outside into the heaviest, loveliest humidity I've ever experienced. It was like walking into a life-size humidifier. The only thing that would have put this city over the top was if I were to get a personal rub down with Vick's every day by Chicago's pet, John Cusack. (I guess I can let that one slide.)

Second City: You have a chest cold?
CG: Sure do. And it's the worst!
Second City: No problem! Just step outside and we'll see if we can't get rid of that hacking cough!
CG: Sweet.Thanks!
Second City: My pleasure. P.S. I think you're cute. 
CG: *blush*

I felt about this awesome all week.

Fact: I almost never take a cab when my legs will get me to my destination just fine. That is until I walked about 15 blocks in the wrong direction the other day and fell prey to the heat of The Midwest. While I appreciate the thick air opening up my lungs and making it easier for me to breathe, the sweat that accompanies that kind of weather had become unbearable the day I got lost and found myself standing in front of Wrigley Field surrounded by a sea of hot, sweaty baseball fans reeking of beer and hotdogs. I finally cried uncle taxi and flung my tired hand into the air. I probably would have hopped into a strangers car at that point if I thought they had air conditioning.

Ironically, isn't that what riding in a cab is all about?

Fact: I'm dreading going home to the land of no cabs and a lot more dirt. Sometimes I wonder if The Country is my real-life nemesis.

Fact: I have two bucket lists. One for the single life. One for life in general. The life list is about a mile long while the single life list has dwindled down to just a few things in the last year. Seeing Wrigley Field (and later seeing a Cubs game) helped to cross of an item on both lists which just made this city even more amazing in my eyes.

If this beach bunny can hack living through a real winter then I will seriously consider moving here. Stay tuned...

Onward, ho!

Lately, this City Girl has been tossing around the idea of moving. Again. This time to destination unknown, but possibly further north. As of now, I have no plans. I had no plans even when I moved to The Lake. I've been without a plan and goalless for some time now. Very, very unlike me.

My blood pressure has dropped, too. Also, very unlike me. Ha ha!

I wouldn't say that I dislike life in The Country, but I'm not overly excited to go back to it either. I'm...in transition. So for now, the house buying shenanigans are still a possibility as is the prospect of moving to a city (a city!!!) and starting a new life there.

Stay tuned...

No place like home...

I realized a couple of days ago why coming back to The Beach was so easy; why it felt so right. I was (or still am) staying at The Little Apartment. A friend of mine moved into The Little Apartment when I moved out and now I'm staying at her place as a guest. When I first walked in it felt as though I were walking into a new house. New decorations were on the walls and a different aura surrounded the place. And yet it felt so much like coming home. And at the best possible time, I might add. A time when I desperately needed a break from my life.

And so whether I am in The Country or back at The Beach, there is no feeling like coming home. And no place like it, either.

Much better, thanks!

Thank you Rob Hardin for this photo. Who ever you are...

Every time I hit the road (or the skies) it feels like a fresh start. A new life of sorts, new beginning. A completely different chapter in my book with the same theme throughout. I'm still me when I travel. I'm the same girl wearing heels, getting out of a cab as the one who goes running on uneven back roads in The Country. Almost feels like a double life.

When I was a kid I went through a string of fantasy careers in my head. I always thought I would be some big corporate yahoo with a giant expense account, living in a fabulous penthouse on the top floor of a fancy high rise in the city. Or maybe I would be a doctor running around the ER, wearing scrubs, saving lives. Or maybe, just maybe, I would be a spy. A double agent. Someone who leads two separate lives. One highly dangerous, one feet-draggingly normal.

I still want to be Sydney Bristow oh-so-bad!

I may not have become a spy (although, I'll never tell!), but I did get my double life. One on the road, one normal. And every time I hit the road I can't stop my mind from wandering. And I almost always come back to the same thought: Oh man...life isn't going the way I planned at all. Thank God! This is way better!

Actually, a lot of days are like this...

Last night I drove back to The Beach with a good friend. And as we drove by the water I felt as though the car got sucked back into a bubble. The bubble I used to live in. And I have never been happier to see this place. The place I never planned on leaving had it not been for my "rock solid" plans changing. Although, if I hadn't left the bubble for my double life I never would have experienced all the amazing places I've been since.

Couple days at a castle by the sea, anyone?

Thank you austindara.com for this last photo!